Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Drive to Find Her

It occurred to me that I have a degree of bad luck when it comes to girls. On five separate occasions I've told a girl that I liked her, but she denied me. She gave me the "best friend" speech and left things at that. I always found myself gritting my teeth and kicking myself after it happened. Although, three out of the five are still my good friends, it's just one simple question that has been irking me:

Am I boyfriend material?

But what on earth is a boyfriend? Isn't he the guy you can turn to and tell him your troubles? Isn't he the guy that you can trust and count on? I mean, you can come talk to me and tell me your troubles, I'm a great listener. I'm trustworthy and accountable. So, why can't I be a boyfriend?

But don't get me wrong, I'm not whining or crying over it. I'm just analyzing it a bit. You know what I'm saying? For years I just could not find the answer to the question. I've even jotted down some good qualities about myself:

1. I'm a gentleman
2. I write poetry
3. I'm a good listener
4. I try my best to make a joke for someone to smile
5. I dress nicely.
6. Did I mention that I write poetry?

So what makes a boyfriend a boyfriend? Is it the drive? Do I have to post up a sign saying: "Girlfriend Needed"? I do have to admit that I'm shy, but not drastically. Once we find common interests with each other I'm sure we can hit if off.

Hm, maybe the girl is waiting for me. There's an idea. I should build on that, but who?


The Mad Watcher said...

The "Best friend" speech. I know it well. I have used it at times to rebuke an interest taken by somebody I dont really like. At all.

What makes a boyfriend is more so the experience, rather than the material.
I am going to hazard a guess that these women you have approached have been close to yourself for a few years now?

If that is the case, that is your problem. You are the guy who bears his soul for people to read, so there is nothing for them to discover about you. They already know that you are shy, creative, dependable, a snappy dresser, good listener and creative and... boring.

Why are you boring? Because you've already told them everything they need to know. There remains nothing for them to explore, to find out for themselves. You are what you are and they know what you are - that is what makes you boring to them.

How do you off-set this? Prowl for the females away from the pack. Dont go to friends because you are comfortable with them, get out there and meet new people with the (open) intention of dating.
You will find somebody very willing to explore you then.

(I loved your last poem)

Anonymous said...

There are so very few girls who have a taste in Gentlemen nowadays... Gentlemen don't often make themselves known, so for us girls who still dream of them, it's getting too hard for us to find them.

It's a sad, sad, truth.

{ps. This is The Simple C from Gaian.}

simplymari said...

gentlemen are attractive where im from :)

mike said...

Well, at least you have good taste in philosophy teachers. That ought to count for something!

ZeldaX64 said...

I really like this blog. I nunderstand where your coming from only I'm the girl askign myself about that when it comes to guys.

Anonymous said...

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.............................................

mike said...

Congratulations. One or more pieces of your writing has been published in the first Whitman Sampler. The sampler represents the best writing of students in the program over the past three years: